Oct 27

The Extremities of Failure Perfection…

…click on the logo below…it takes you to the page for that Foundation camp I talk about in the video…

 

HEB Camp

Oct 20

Confidence in Our Higher Power and Another Human Being for Order in Changing Ourselves

 

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Oct 13

Conforming to the Right of being Wrong…Not the Right to Wrong Others…

 

 

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Oct 06

Necessary Development in Changes of Thoughts, Decisions and Further Action…

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Sep 29

Led By Examples…Rather Than Commands…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…below is the link for Next Function…the Men’s Retreat I talk about in the video above…remember…registration ends Oct. 10th…IMG_2392

Sep 22

Walking Through the New Life…One Step at a Time

…click the link below to visit the website I mentioned on speaker tapes…

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Sep 16

New YouTube Vlog Channel…

…below is the link to have the Richard Rohr daily devotional sent to your email inbox…
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Aug 28

Provisional Guideline Continuance as a Collection for Building Humility

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the higher power conception was not an easy thing for me to accept…growing up in an atheist household, the influence of a God figure wasn’t at the forefront of my teaching, as a child…that didn’t leave my mother with a poor raising…she did tell me the differences between right and wrong…to treat everyone as i would want to be treated…thinking of what i can do for others, before doing for myself…aside from religious learning, she was a fabulous spiritual teacher…and she never pushed or instructed me on her own personal beliefs…in fact, once a neighbor of ours invited to take me to their church…and she hadn’t any problem allowing me to go

that being said, my personal beliefs have always been surrounded by visual and physical proofs…my hardest time with the God concept is the not hearing Him from the clouds…or seeing Him in person…that was the toughest part for me to grasp…so, when approached with the solution to my drug/alcohol problem (as directed in the 12 steps) belief in a Higher Power became a stumbling block…in the beginning

provisional – arranged or existing for the present, possibly to be changed later

when sitting down with my sponsor to go over Step 2, he asked me to give him my own ideas of what the God idea is …given my need for proof of this existence, i merely looked into nature…here are the building blocks to life as we know it…on this planet, materials, organisms and all other sorts of matter are built upon pyramids…specifically, there are charts labeling food and creatures in an order…certain animals need particular substances for reason to survive…every thing on this planet has a purpose…i couldn’t see any accidents surrounding me…and they all appeared too creative for mentioning mistake…flowers had such color and vibrance…birds carried beautiful song and ornate patterns in their feathers…fruits grew from trees for eating…or from the ground, surrounded by complex design features…i just couldn’t see this as being a molecular cataclysm in space through a giant Big Bang…it all seemed too reasonable than that

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recently, i’ve had more thoughts on the concept of God…a couple of meetings i’ve attended have involved discussion on will…selfishness is definitely the root of my problems…alcohol and drugs were merely antidotes…these were what i used to overcome difficulty…for the longest time, i felt this was my own personal preference…that no one needed bother me about my use…it had nothing to do with them…this was my decision…however, from the outside my behavior went into a deep cauldron…and i was the only one who refused to see it, or admit to it…in fact, i was the last person to realize that addiction had taken over

as in nature, humans are the only ones running upon self-will…all other animals and creatures upon this earth fit their purposes in life…their thoughts and actions are used and taken to preserve their own lives…but with humans, we straggle with a multitude of ideas…thoughts…emotions…feelings…movements…and when finally taken by a disease such as alcoholism/drug addiction, we haven’t the power to change and go back…we need something other than human to help…this begins with turning our own will and life over to God…but, what is God’s will for us?…how is that a light offering to take with utmost assurance?

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i hear God’s messages through the people about me…this is why meetings are so important…it is a fellowship with people who have gone through similar turmoil…and survived…without taking a drink…or a drug…and they tell me how they’ve done it…but, words are not my only source of will from a Higher Power…a book with instructions can only take me so far…i have to participate in the action…which brought me to the Trinity…Service…Unity…Recovery…God’s will is the result of events taking in place in my life…it is the problems i face…and i look to those i trust for assistance in what i should do next…i don’t think anything happens by mistake in this world any longer…i have to take what i have learned from those that care deeply about me…and want me to succeed…and go forth by making good deeds…problems do not solve by themselves…i must go forth by doing the right things…instead of the wrong ones that have only benefitted me in the horrible past…life goes on…good and bad…it is only in how handling it the sober way that a new life begins and continues…i no longer have to go it alone…taking inventory will show how much a mess i have made by myself…if i could have taken it by myself…i never would have gone a foot inside the doors of our 12 step fellowship

Jun 04

Cessation of a Highly Strained, Abnormal Condition

IMG_0010the above passage came from page 123 in the AA BB…it’s been on my mind lately, the drastic changes in my life due to the accident i suffered from last year…it’s been a rough time, and a lot has been altered in my life…but, it’s clear to me now that the solutions are the same…it’s just in how often, repeated and fervently i pursue these answers that clear directions are offered to me…i spent too much effort in running my own life before, keeping certain things to myself, instead of being completely honest with those closest to me…had i not of had the accident that completely changed my life, it probably would have only been a matter of time before something else had taken over…i’m confident of that now

this blog page used to be a huge part of my life before…i became the host of an online radio show once a week because of it…for 5 years this was a way for me to carry the message of 12 step recovery, and share my experience and others with the internet…that stopped abruptly before and after the accident…i have grown back into it, but slowly, as if from the beginning…i know i don’t post blogs much on here…maybe once or twice a month…however, it is important to me that these pieces hold value…i’d rather not submit writings that are half-assed, or hold hardly a weight…i put it off until i have something solid for me to say and talk about…i really miss doing the blogtalkradio show…but, that is not possible for me now…it may return in the future, but i have much more to depend on at this moment…my service work is placed on a much closer, personal plane…so much is going on, i have to stick to what is vital to my recovery and everyday living…i’ve thought about the vlogs…i used to post video messages on myspace, in 2008, when HMR first was created…that may return soon…it is still of importance for me to keep everything on a even keel…i don’t want to place anything in jeopardy for me and others that are involved in my well-being

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all that being said, fellowship has been a principle i’ve encountered in sharing, and conversation with people in the program lately…to the left are the doors opening for the meeting i’m a member of…the top of those circles beneath the word House is the AA symbol…it’s like a triad…a triathlon of the Three Legacies in the program:  Unity…Service…Recovery…this circle and triangle design has been around for ages…“priests and seers of antiquity regarded the circle enclosing in the triangle as a means of warding off spirits of evil”Bill W. speech 1955…as far as i understand it, Recovery is the practice of the steps…Service is the committal of self to helping others in sobriety…and Unity is the fellowship part…unifying oneself to the group of drunks who are following the direction of the 12 steps to stay sober themselves…this is the key  part of me being part of a home group, a meeting i spend most of my time at…there are other groups i visit, but the Yellow House is where the majority of my meeting time is spent…it is where i get to know people, and people get to know me…it’s where i devote my actions to service work…chairing meetings…manning the coffee bar…introducing newcomers to the program…i’ve been going to this place for twenty years now, and there are some members there that i remember from my first meeting…it’s great that they are still a big part of the place, and keeps my hopes up for a better future

i ran into my first sponsor last weekend at a baseball game…hadn’t seen him in over ten years…it was so good to exchange phone numbers and get caught up in a long talk a couple of days later…after telling him about my present problems and how i’ve done in combatting them, he said, “Oliver…meetings will not keep you sober”…and i agree…meetings alone…meetings themselves are not the solution to treating alcoholism and drug addiction…they are merely a means for spreading the word of what the program has done for it’s members…but, the meeting place itself is the fiber…the backbone of our society…where we come together to greet one another to combine our experiences and pass on what has worked for us in sobriety…without this central marketplace, we might never have been joined as we are now…i need a central venue to go when my problems become to much for me to handle…when i want to drink or use or do something else horrible and destructive to myself and loved ones who care for me, i need the meeting place as a hub for meeting with others like me…it is essential to my recovery…but, it isn’t the exact means for keeping me sober…that depends upon my relations with a Higher Power and committing effort into completing the 12 step process…this is an activity i must continue throughout my lifetime…for alcoholism and drug addiction are a chronic disease…and progressive…meaning it gets worse and never better…this program is the only means i have seen to fully arrest it so that i may continue with a productive and useful life

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these are images i found posted on a recovery page at Facebook that i thought i should share..the internet has been a great place for meto share in the message of 12 step recovery…i’ve just been very careful about how i’ve gone about doing it…doing my best to avoid breaking anonymity…it’s why i’ve chosen Half Measures Room as my name, and used the golden revolving door as a default icon…although, just as my first sponsor had said, so i feel the same way about social web activity…it will not keep me sober…i must use the Steps in the real world in order to fight my ever-ending disease…this is why i’ve spent so much time away from this page as i used to spend…there is so much more for me to do outside my computer…i have a job…a wife…kids…school…friends…sponsor…family…it’s all critical for me to keep a close contact with if i want my life to change for the better

 

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staying sober has never been easy for me…but it is simple…clean house…trust God…and help others…doing what i must to remove my selfishness is what has removed the inferior feelings and thoughts that plague my psyche and lead to more drinking and drugging…when i’ve placed myself in a position to be of help to others, whether they are in the program, or not…this is what has created the pure usefulness for my life…and i’m not in a place of sponsorship right now…however, there are plenty of other things i can do the carry the message, for those that honestly want it…i read from devotionals daily, and send photos of those to a couple of friends i have that are dealing with sobriety like i am…when something really catches our eye in what we are confronted with currently, we talk about it amongst one another…like i had friends whom i drank and got high with…so i have pals who stay sober that i relate to on a consistent basis…sobriety is something i can never face alone…it is much the opposite of how i was when getting loaded…and much easier when sharing it with like-minded individuals

May 04

A Lifetime of Spiritual Serenity Built by the Roots of Reality

IMG_0007this quote came from the April 22nd devotional of the AA book Daily Reflections, as did the title for this blog…it touched a lot of what I’m going through right now, so i thought i would include it in my writing…devotionals are something i’ve included in my morning meditation and prayer…i will read from this book and the Hazelden 24-Hours A Day…then take photo’s of the pages and send them to my sponsor, and another guy who has about the same time as i do…it’s a great way to start my day…not only do i get an inspirational read and helpful advice on my recovery, but also given the chance to share a message to those that suffer from the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction like i do

I also chair meetings as a way to commit myself to service work…the meetings i’m chairing right now are the book study’s…this is the best way for me to chair right now, because i don’t have to come up with a topic off the top of my head every week…it’s been hard enough for me to get back into my blogging…that’s why i’ve only posted like one or two a month…i wait until i have something to say before diving into carrying a message i’ve learned…since my head trauma accident a lot has changed in my attitude, perception and personality…i haven’t come a completely different person, but some significant changes have occurred…my memory isn’t as good as it used to be…i see things and express emotions quickly over them…learning has become quite a tool for me…i started back at school over a month ago, and it isn’t as easy as it used to be…i’m having to study more, spend more time doing assignments…what has helped me most is placing my dependence upon others that love and care about me…that also means my Higher Power…i can’t make many wise decisions on my own…i’ve found that out the hard way…i must disclose my ideas to those of most help to me first before taking any actions that will affect me or othersIMG_0006

in one of the Big Book studies i chaired we had read all the way through A Vision For You, which is pretty much the last chapter in the book…so, i asked the members if it was okay to read a story in the back…the day before I had been talking to a friend of mine who has been sober a long time about the stories…i haven’t read too many of them over the years…i’ve always stuck to the main textbook, that has all the instructions on how to work the program and stay sober…the stories in the back are important, however…they have changed over the years…new ones being added and old ones removed…but, you can buy all the stories that used to be in there in a book that AA publishes now

the most important thing i understand about sober alcoholic stories is telling people what it was like when drinking, what happened when they decided to stop, and what it’s like now that they have stopped…this is why we have speaker meetings at our groups regularly…the members at my book study were okay with us reading a story from the back, so i flipped open the title page and pointed out the first one that caught my eye…it’s titled Student of Life, and starts on page 319 in the 4th edition, if you want to read it yourself…to tell you the truth, i couldn’t really relate to the story that well…her folks did not drink…my family is full of drinkers, all of which aren’t in the program…she didn’t hit low bottoms like i did…and she didn’t start drinking until she was 18 years old…by then, i had already gone to jail because of my problem…i started drinking when i was 10 years old

what caught me most in her story were the similarities…we both had a lot of the same problems with our drinking habits…for the longest time she didn’t see a need to stop, but she wanted her management with life to change…i could totally identify with that…she also found the program similar to how i did…through another sober alcoholic in the program…i had been to three different treatment centers, which gave me some information on alcoholism and drug addiction, but nothing that would stick to me right away…it wasn’t until a member of AA came to me and told me some of his own story, then read stuff out of the BB to me…that’s when it clicked…this man was just like me…what i have is a disease…and no treatment center or individual person could stop it for me…i had to have God’s help

this is what led me into the program…working with others like me is how i’ve able to understand my problems and find solutions for them…my Higher Power works through these people…and i didn’t have a relationship with God until i came into the rooms

“I was so certain I had found the answer in alcohol.  I could clearly see now that had been a lie.” - p. 326 AA BB

the best definition for insanity i have heard came from my Sunday School class in church…insanity is believing a lie is the truth…honesty…open-mindedness…willingness…these are the keys to success in our sobriety program…without these tools, the 12 steps mean nothing…for the longest time i relied upon myself, my own intuition to lead me through life…the more i drank, the more this developed into a life of lies…i’ve never been one to appreciate what other people say about me…neither have i been one to take another persons advice on how to live my life…until i became completely hopeless and defeated…sitting in jail, awaiting movement to prison…that is what was the end for me…i could see no other way out…no human could have saved me from that abyss…it had to be a Higher Power…one that i found in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous…it is the similarities in other sober drunks and druggies that i need to look for…not the differences…although some peoples stories and statements in meetings may get on my nerves…i may think they are full of shit, or not working a solid program themselves…that doesn’t matter…i need to disregard that thought and look for the similar characteristics in them…we are pretty much all in the rooms for the same reasons, and suffer from the same disease…during that moment of silence before the serenity prayer at the beginning of a meeting, i spend that time asking my Higher Power to ‘remove my judgements against other people so i can hear the message’…i’ve never heard God’s voice and direction from the clouds above me in heaven…they have always come from people here that walk the Earth

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