Jul 29

when business becomes personal

“Your man has probably been trying to conceal a number of scrapes, perhaps pretty messy ones.  They may be disgusting.  You may be at a loss to understand how such a seemingly above-board chap could be so involved.  But these scrapes can generally be charged, no matter how bad, to the abnormal action of alcohol on his mind.  When drinking, or getting over a bout, an alcoholic, sometimes the model of honesty when normal, will do incredible things.  Afterward, his revulsion will be terrible.  Nearly always, these antics indicate nothing more than temporary conditions.”  p. 140-141  AA BB

this passage comes from the chapter titled ‘To Employers’ from the AA Big Book…i know i have always tried to keep from bringing my work home with me, and keeping home life away from work…however, when i was drinking that was an impossibility…my personal life always seemed to affect my work because things were much out of control and in disarray there

i have also put myself in great danger at work, due to my drinking…before coming to the program i could never hold a job…i spoke about this briefly in another blog recently…then, in my first period of sobriety i held a job at a grocery store…i started off night stocking and was quickly moved to manage the dairy department…i did so well there, they moved me to daytime grocery…my responsibilities included stocking end caps and answering customer questions…i also stocked the beer cooler and wine case…i wasn’t much of a wine drinker…and even picking up the cardboard cases of beer didn’t bother me much…but, i wasn’t comfortable at all putting my hands around those ice cold 40 oz. bottles of malt liquor…that was a little too close for comfort…so i had to tell my boss about it…i told him i wasn’t comfortable with it because i was recovering from alcoholism…he understood and moved me to produce where i became assistant manager

some may feel it’s none of their employer’s business what their personal life is like…and i can understand that…but, when my personal problems start affecting my work, i have to keep my sobriety first…like when i came back in this time…i had been kicked out of the house by my ex-wife…my current job is in construction…it is acceptable for me to walk in with a hangover, and i did that most mornings…hat pulled down low, head down, walking straight to the coffee maker…it wasn’t any secret…most of the guys knew what was going on…and they often laughed at me

that particular morning i had taken my supervisor aside…i told him what was going on…and to my consternation, i began sobbing to him…it wasn’t my most professional moment…i had let my emotions take over…i told him of my drinking and how that had led to my problems at home…i told him how it was affecting my work performance…and it was obviously no secret to him…he knew i was losing interest and that i hated coming to work most days…lo and behold, he was in the program…he asked me if i knew where the meeting was…he even offered to give me his Big Book…then he gave me the day off to get to a meeting and straighten things out at home
i will be forever grateful for that man giving me his time and consideration…even though we were in a professional setting, he listened to me…i imagine it was because i am a valuable worker and he was willing to do whatever he could to improve my situation so that i could restore my working relationship with the company…to this day i don’t keep it a secret that i don’t drink, when it comes to work…i am not broadcasting it, reforming people, or being an evangelist about it…however, i am open and honest with people…and i like to keep that door open for any opportunity to be of service to someone with the same problem

a guy i used to drink with at work had run into some trouble with the law…he had hit a deer one night drinking in the work truck on the way home…damaged the front end pretty good…then he got a DWI in his personal vehicle and was restricted to an occupational license only…his doctor had told him to quit drinking for his health…all of this came to a head, and today he hasn’t had a drink in over 8 months…this guy used to be a real asshole when drinking…i couldn’t stand working with him…now he is quite pleasant, happy, and easy-going…it is a pleasure to work around him, and i like seeing that smile on his face all the time…we often talk about sobriety, although he is not in the program…he is reaping the benefits of not drinking…and it shows through his work

i consider myself a fairly low bottom drunk…but i always felt i was pretty functional…taking another look and examining my life, i found that alcoholism and drug addiction affected every single area of my life…when i wasn’t drinking i was miserable…and that showed when i was at work…so, i drank every chance i could, even if i was on the clock…that put me in a very precarious position…i am lucky to be employed by the same company today…and i am grateful that they understand my problem and that there is a solution i have found for it