Feb 17

Experience in an Instance of Change

“I had fallen under the care of a physician – a Dr. William D. Silkworth – who was wonderfully capable of understanding alcoholics…It was his theory that alcoholism had two components – an obsession that compelled the sufferer to drink against his will and interest, and some sort of metabolism difficulty which he then called an allergy. The alcoholic’s compulsion guaranteed that the alcoholic’s drinking would go on, and the allergy made sure that the sufferer would finally deteriorate, go insane, or die…most conversion experiences, whatever their variety, do have a common denominator of ego collapse at depth. The individual faces an impossible dilemma. In my case the dilemma had been created by my compulsive drinking and the deep feeling of hopelessness had been vastly deepened by my doctor.” – letter written by Bill Wilson to Dr. Carl Gustav Jung, dated 1/23/1961


it’s been a few weeks since i’ve contributed to the blogging of this page…things are taking awhile to return back the way they used to be in my life…alot has changed for me since August 6th of 2013…the head injury that occured and caused brain trauma in my head has altered my thought processes and emotional states…this mostly lead back to me drinking again…although, after i have reviewed what my life was like before the accident, i realized there where some aspects of my previous period of sobriety that were lacking in tools given to me by the 12-step program…the biggest thing was honesty…i wasn’t disclosing myself in secret to people like my sponsor, whom i trusted in giving the upmost sure advice on staying sober and living a healthy life…i also went back to ‘playing God’…although i kept to prayer in the morning and evening times, the decisions i made in life where left of my own devices…so, had i not injured myself like i have, i do think it would have been only a matter of time before i picked up the drink again, had i not changed anything about the way i was living life


this has been a major guiding force in my new way of living this time…i’m attending meetings more often…i’m listening to my sponsor, my wife, and other people whom i trust care about me enough to give me the right answers…i look to God for direction and release from the manifestations of self that plague my everyday living…i ask for help in discovering what i can do to be of service to other people…alot of this depends upon my distinction of what is right and wrong for a person like myself who is suffering from a mind-altering and allergic-body illness that is chronic…what i think i know is best may only mean what i want out of life…that is not the answer to my problems today…no matter how i am feeling about something or someone, i must carry forward in what is a good decision i can make in this world…even though it may bother me at the time, in the future i can look back and be grateful that i had a place to be of service, and help somebody else out for a change…God is doing for me what i cannot do for myself…i’m lucky i’m still alive and have a chance to make another sober living inside this world


aside from being a member of my home group, it is also important for me to get out and visit other meetings for a change…one of these is a group that gathers at my sponsor’s house on Wendsday nights…we had read through the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and shared with each other what we had ascertained from the chapters…there was also a copy of the original manuscript present, which was important to me, because alot of changes and deletions were made to publish the textbook we read from today in AA…after finishing the last chapter, ‘A Vision For You’, it was decided we meet to discuss where to take the meetings from there…last night we came to the decision to begin the ’12 Steps & 12 Traditions’ book in the same manner, which was exciting to me…i’ve read through that book many times, but the Traditions part is something i’ve rarely walked through


since the meeting last night was short, my sponsor offered to read through the letter i’ve quoted from at the beginning of this blog…i really enjoyed that piece, and never heard about Bill W. writing the doctor Rowland Hazard had seen to solve his drinking problem…for those of you that don’t know, Hazard was support in getting Ebby Thatcher sober, who met Bill Wilson at his kitchen table to reveal his solution to alcoholism…thus was AA born…below I have provided the links to this letter and the response Dr. Jung had replied to Bill…someone who attended the meeting last night at my sponsor’s house mentioned that Dr. Carl Jung passed away that same year…so it is apparent that Bill made a wise decision to thank him for his contribution to an association that has helped millions stay sober for over 75 years now


“…craving for alcohol was the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in mediaeval language:  the union with God…The only right and legitimate way to such an experience is, that it happens to you in reality and it can only happen to you when you walk on a path, which leads you to higher understanding…You see, Alcohol in Latin is “spiritus” and you use the same word for the highest religious experience as well as for the most depraving poison.”  – reply from Dr. Carl Gustav Jung to Bill Wilson, dated 1/30/1961 




link to Bill W. letter to Dr. Jung




link to Dr. Jung reply to Bill W. letter