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Jun 04

Cessation of a Highly Strained, Abnormal Condition

IMG_0010the above passage came from page 123 in the AA BB…it’s been on my mind lately, the drastic changes in my life due to the accident i suffered from last year…it’s been a rough time, and a lot has been altered in my life…but, it’s clear to me now that the solutions are the same…it’s just in how often, repeated and fervently i pursue these answers that clear directions are offered to me…i spent too much effort in running my own life before, keeping certain things to myself, instead of being completely honest with those closest to me…had i not of had the accident that completely changed my life, it probably would have only been a matter of time before something else had taken over…i’m confident of that now

this blog page used to be a huge part of my life before…i became the host of an online radio show once a week because of it…for 5 years this was a way for me to carry the message of 12 step recovery, and share my experience and others with the internet…that stopped abruptly before and after the accident…i have grown back into it, but slowly, as if from the beginning…i know i don’t post blogs much on here…maybe once or twice a month…however, it is important to me that these pieces hold value…i’d rather not submit writings that are half-assed, or hold hardly a weight…i put it off until i have something solid for me to say and talk about…i really miss doing the blogtalkradio show…but, that is not possible for me now…it may return in the future, but i have much more to depend on at this moment…my service work is placed on a much closer, personal plane…so much is going on, i have to stick to what is vital to my recovery and everyday living…i’ve thought about the vlogs…i used to post video messages on myspace, in 2008, when HMR first was created…that may return soon…it is still of importance for me to keep everything on a even keel…i don’t want to place anything in jeopardy for me and others that are involved in my well-being

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all that being said, fellowship has been a principle i’ve encountered in sharing, and conversation with people in the program lately…to the left are the doors opening for the meeting i’m a member of…the top of those circles beneath the word House is the AA symbol…it’s like a triad…a triathlon of the Three Legacies in the program:  Unity…Service…Recovery…this circle and triangle design has been around for ages…“priests and seers of antiquity regarded the circle enclosing in the triangle as a means of warding off spirits of evil”Bill W. speech 1955…as far as i understand it, Recovery is the practice of the steps…Service is the committal of self to helping others in sobriety…and Unity is the fellowship part…unifying oneself to the group of drunks who are following the direction of the 12 steps to stay sober themselves…this is the key  part of me being part of a home group, a meeting i spend most of my time at…there are other groups i visit, but the Yellow House is where the majority of my meeting time is spent…it is where i get to know people, and people get to know me…it’s where i devote my actions to service work…chairing meetings…manning the coffee bar…introducing newcomers to the program…i’ve been going to this place for twenty years now, and there are some members there that i remember from my first meeting…it’s great that they are still a big part of the place, and keeps my hopes up for a better future

i ran into my first sponsor last weekend at a baseball game…hadn’t seen him in over ten years…it was so good to exchange phone numbers and get caught up in a long talk a couple of days later…after telling him about my present problems and how i’ve done in combatting them, he said, “Oliver…meetings will not keep you sober”…and i agree…meetings alone…meetings themselves are not the solution to treating alcoholism and drug addiction…they are merely a means for spreading the word of what the program has done for it’s members…but, the meeting place itself is the fiber…the backbone of our society…where we come together to greet one another to combine our experiences and pass on what has worked for us in sobriety…without this central marketplace, we might never have been joined as we are now…i need a central venue to go when my problems become to much for me to handle…when i want to drink or use or do something else horrible and destructive to myself and loved ones who care for me, i need the meeting place as a hub for meeting with others like me…it is essential to my recovery…but, it isn’t the exact means for keeping me sober…that depends upon my relations with a Higher Power and committing effort into completing the 12 step process…this is an activity i must continue throughout my lifetime…for alcoholism and drug addiction are a chronic disease…and progressive…meaning it gets worse and never better…this program is the only means i have seen to fully arrest it so that i may continue with a productive and useful life

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these are images i found posted on a recovery page at Facebook that i thought i should share..the internet has been a great place for meto share in the message of 12 step recovery…i’ve just been very careful about how i’ve gone about doing it…doing my best to avoid breaking anonymity…it’s why i’ve chosen Half Measures Room as my name, and used the golden revolving door as a default icon…although, just as my first sponsor had said, so i feel the same way about social web activity…it will not keep me sober…i must use the Steps in the real world in order to fight my ever-ending disease…this is why i’ve spent so much time away from this page as i used to spend…there is so much more for me to do outside my computer…i have a job…a wife…kids…school…friends…sponsor…family…it’s all critical for me to keep a close contact with if i want my life to change for the better

 

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staying sober has never been easy for me…but it is simple…clean house…trust God…and help others…doing what i must to remove my selfishness is what has removed the inferior feelings and thoughts that plague my psyche and lead to more drinking and drugging…when i’ve placed myself in a position to be of help to others, whether they are in the program, or not…this is what has created the pure usefulness for my life…and i’m not in a place of sponsorship right now…however, there are plenty of other things i can do the carry the message, for those that honestly want it…i read from devotionals daily, and send photos of those to a couple of friends i have that are dealing with sobriety like i am…when something really catches our eye in what we are confronted with currently, we talk about it amongst one another…like i had friends whom i drank and got high with…so i have pals who stay sober that i relate to on a consistent basis…sobriety is something i can never face alone…it is much the opposite of how i was when getting loaded…and much easier when sharing it with like-minded individuals