Jun 23

The Individual Liberty of a Common Suffering


it’s been some time since i’ve added anything to this blog page…i’ve gone through so much in the past several months…it has been hard for me to arrange my schedule to fit everything in…too much to say about it all right now…so i will just stick to what is newest

a few weeks ago i went though a surgery because of a bad Crohn’s disease attack…this has put me out of work until next week…living in a new place, i’ve spent most of my time in bed, resting up…thought about adding another vlog to this page…but, changed my mind, and decided to write instead

my wife and i moved into a new place…i have a new job…this has kept my life super busy over the past few months…been hard for me to even fit as many meetings in, as i’m used to…meetings are more about fellowship to me now…less about what is shared and discussed…although, i do try to keep an open-mind and listen to what is said…during that quiet time at the beginning, i ask my Higher Power to remove my judgements against others, so i can better hear His message, and help those in need of my service

“The first thing I had to do was resign from the debating society.  That didn’t mean I started agreeing with everything I heard.  It means only that I listened without arguing, used what I could use, and filed the rest for future reference.

“The second thing I did was become an active member of my home group, which happened to be my sponsor’s home group.  I saw that whatever else spirituality might consist of, it had to include being of maximum service to my fellow alcoholics, whether or not they were still suffering.” – p.8 Many Paths to Spirituality AA pamphlet


there a couple of devotionals i read in the morning after my meditation…one of them is the Hazelden 24 Hours a Day book…which i love the most, because it touches upon spiritual principles in our 12 Step program, frequently…in one portion it talks about supplication and appropriation, when it comes to forming relationships with our HP

looking it up in the dictionary, supplicate means to ask or beg for something earnestly or humbly…appropriate is taking something for one’s own use, without the donor’s permission…this had me at a big eye opener, especially when coming to prayer…i’ve been doing my best to only ask for those things for myself that i expect help in my service to others around me…all my other parts of prayer are centered around people i know that are dealing with rough, difficult and unmanageable trials in their lives

knowing that it is not my place to play God…i obviously do not have the most sane and useful thinking and feelings…otherwise, i wouldn’t need something like a 12 Step program to stay sober…it is in my best interest to keep my prayers very generic…i haven’t a real clue what other people need to solve their problems…anymore than i do about what will take me down the right path…

“When a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone.  He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being.  He has been set on a path which tells him he is really going somewhere, that life is not a dead end, not something to be endured or mastered.  In a very real sense he has been transformed, because he has laid hold of a source of strength which, in one way or another, he had hitherto denied himself.” p. 11 Many Paths to Spirituality AA pamphlet

recently i’ve had questions about this God Consciousness that’s talked about in our way of life…it seems to me that it’s always in hindsight, when looking for the way God works in my own life…as with others however, i appear to locate it immediately…which is strange…being a former agnostic, belief in something always meant vision, sound and feeling of something tangible…i just couldn’t find faith in anything, unless it was something i had first-hand experience with…unfortunately, it is still somewhat that way for me today

my sponsor told me that the best way to find God working in others (as well as myself) is to be of service…to sponsor other addicts/alcoholics coming to the meetings…to do 12 Step calls…and just remain available for anyone who is in need of help from drugs and booze problems…for i am following a solution that has worked best for me…and that is what attracted me to the 12 Step program to begin with…it had nothing to do with spirituality…i was broken…desperate…nowhere else to turn…and then found a place where people just like me…who had gone through much the same turmoil…and they had found a way out…so, it was up for me to follow in their footsteps, if i wanted what they had found