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Aug 02

Taken From What’s Been Carried Away…

give me thatpriorities have been in the forefront of my mind…from time to time they may change…for better or worse…i’m always doing what i can to keep certain things primary…lately scheduling has become an big issue…work and family have come first…how can i best meet needs?…what is expected of me?…at home and on the job?…how can i fit in the time needed to meet these expectations?…how am i to arrange activities included in my role as a father, husband, employee?…i do what i can…make plans each day…trying my best for accomplishment in areas requiring my attention…and most days it is successful, thank God

however, i’ve felt something missing in my life…a big part…and it’s been trouble fitting it in to my regiment…i’ve met lots of people in sobriety…some have stuck around a long time…others come and go…and i’m not the greatest at making contact…in and out of the rooms, only certain people are recognizable on a constant basis…and it’s good seeing new faces…but, also sad when others have been forgotten about, and wondered on…fellowship is important…a fundamental part at keeping with a like-minded people who are doing what is necessary to stay sober…it’s a lot like family…we stick together, especially when times are rough…it is a specific modality of 12 step recovery

one individual i’ve met through Steel on Steel has kept up with me, mostly through text messaging…he’s asked me to hit him up when planning on making meetings…which i did last Friday, asking him where to go…he invited me to a group i haven’t been to in awhile…a lot of people i know go there…but, it’s just not my favorite place…not hearing much from the literature…mostly people with double-digit sobriety…but, i went to meet up with some of these folks i hadn’t seen in a while…and my sponsor caught up with me at the front door…after asking me how things were, i went on…complaining about my work situation…telling him i felt i deserved better…that my intentions of switching careers through college education have not been met…then immediately, i shook my hand out in the air…looking at the others around me, i realized my attitude had gone sour…i told him this just wasn’t the place for me to be speaking so negatively…he laughed and nodded his head up and down

giving back

positive outcomes are the fruits of a spiritual nature…it shouldn’t matter what is going on currently…as long as i know what has to be done and put my best foot forward, i know all will be taken care of…i’m really in a good place…my needs, and the ones i love, are being met…it is in how i look at things…it is so easy when expecting so much, then seeing so little…i have to be repeatedly reminded about it…which is why it’s fundamentally important to remain honest with others i trust…for i cannot rely upon my own reasoning to get me by in the rough spots…i just haven’t the power to walk through, especially when it’s mud that i’ve created

you know, i never want to drink again…i don’t want to get high…and it’s hard to explain this…but, i’m just bent on handing it overattending Beginners meetings…it’s where i hear the message when i first came to the rooms…i’m reminded of what it was like when i had nowhere else to turn to…tools used for getting and staying sober are brought up in the discussion…i get to listen from those who are having a tough time at getting this thing we call recovery…and it’s my chance to show others how it works for me…i never want to lose those feelings…and i want to be able to listen to those kind of shares…it’s what i use that Moment of Silence for at the start in the group…i ask my Higher Power to remove my judgements of other people…to help me hear His message through those telling their stories…for that is the only way i’ve ever heard His voice…from the people carrying HIs message with descriptions of their path through the steps

once handed those keys to future sobriety, it is in my best interest to give them away…it’s the only option i have to keep what has been given…sobriety begins with acceptance and understanding…and it continues with perseverance…practice…and residual guidance…none of us have complete answers to all problems…however, we know directions in which to lead people…therefore, once i’ve reached that better place, it is pivotal for me find ways to be of service…i don’t like sharing in meetings much…for the past few years i’ve been mostly about listening…i want to hear what others have to say about their plight…at times i am compelled to contribute…but, it’s best for me to reach out on a personal basis…if i find others with troubles similar to mine…this is usually a good sign for me to reach my hand out to try and help…it’s what had been done for me…and it’s why 12 step fellowships have meant so much…we are not different from other people…but, we are much the same as one another…which is what keeps us coming back…and i have to do my part to expect a prominent reward