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Aug 09

Seeing from Hearing…Feeling from Doing…Being from Healing…

hole in groundnot much for reading stories in the back of our books…mostly concerned covering instructions on the steps and recovery from my disease…i’m much rather into going to speaker meetings for listening to ‘what it was like…what happened…and what it’s like now”…although, part of a back book story was read to me recently that meant a lot…just a few sentences, but really touched a part of my sobriety that hasn’t before in our literature…talking about how things start making more sense to us as we keep clean…living this new way of life through use of our 12 step program…reminds me of the spiritual awakening idea…creating that dark hole in my life from using and drinking affected all areas…my family…my friends…my job…my education…my place in society…and it also scarred a section even closer…a part kept in secret from others…something only i ever thought about and shared with…coming into sobriety with help through the steps created an experience of this spiritual variety…and it wasn’t easy, because this was something never willing to expose…but getting and keeping clean meant taking a closer look at this portion in living…for it took a deep puncture when getting loaded all the timegod shelter question

my attitude sucks…i’ve been falling apart from, rather than being a part of…fundamental facets of my life has shown great importance in me the past few years…so, mostly family, home life and work have been in the forefront…however, being an addict/alcoholic in recovery means involving oneself with others of the same genre…we will never be able to walk this fight alone…no matter how much stepwork, reading and prayer i do on my own…i must turn to others with similar problems for help and contribution…it’s a big part of my life that has been missing…eating away at my livelihood, i’ve recently found

Concept

the other night, i went to the meeting before the meeting…afterward, i stayed for the meeting after…yet, i barely spoke with anyone…not being at the group regularly for awhile now, it put me in a place of outsiderness…and fellowship is so vital to getting and staying sober…getting to know people…forming friendships with bonds of relation…knowing who to go to when certain problems arise…sponsorship is necessary too, but the ties that bind us must follow in every group we walk into…because we are like one another and have walked in each other’s shoes…i’ve never been able collecting much from doctor’s who have been educated in the field of addiction…even from those that love me and know me most, couldn’t help much, because they hadn’t been where i’ve been…this is why 12 step work has been the strongest advocate for my lifelong issue with dope and booze…it is a hands-on approach from those it has worked on before

someone called me the other day when i was laying down for bed…a guy i used to sponsor who has moved out of state…he’s been through a lot over the years…first person i’ve ever gone out on a 12 step call for…he’s never really liked being in the program, but this is where i met him…we talked and got to know each other first…we like the same things…skateboarding…heavy metal music…video games…we got a long right away, and he would constantly talk his bouts with alcoholism…and i became his go-to guy when it involved sobriety, particularly when times where rough

spiritual awakening contact

this is what caught my eye in the beginning…the fellowship was the “last house on the block” for me…when i couldn’t find anywhere else to turn to…after burning every bridge i tried to cross…my only last resort was to turn towards that with real answers…i had to remove the “cotton from my ears and put it in my mouth”…this is what getting the message is all about…listening…paying attention…and following through with suggestion…i end up absorbing what is useful through this kind of treatment…and i acclimate them to my current affairs…i cannot live a life and fit those roles so important to me without filling sober shoes first…without sobriety i would not have a family…without recovery i haven’t a chance with furthering my career…unless i continue work on keeping clean, my perception and mindset will persist in negativity…it is in this type of awakening that growth is possible…opening my eyes new things will come to what i’ve mostly been looking at all along…just in a new light

godly touches