Nov 04

Answers of Tools for Bottoms and Relief from God to New Life…

img_2439around 2008-2009 a crowd of guys from my home group visited this cigar lounge…it was a place to sit and chat while puffing on a stogie chosen from their wide selection…great place…a few customers came in to drink, as well…but, they didn’t serve alcohol…it was like a BYOB bar…they did sell ice cold teas, which i liked a lot…all different kinds of exotic flavors…just a nice place to go and chill…unfortunately, it didn’t last very long…i guess they just didn’t get much in the way of customers to stay afloat…but, i did get to meet some good men in the program…some of which i stay in contact with today

this type of interaction ended up moving to dude’s houses…sort of a casual 12-step meeting, instead of the more organized types you find in the group-halls or clubhouses…just a place for certain, selected members to gather and talk with each other about sobriety and what life is like today, using the steps for not picking up a drink or drug again…definitely more relaxed atmosphere…not a place people were forced to go to from the courts…really only meetings for those doing the deal…trusting each other with confidentiality…and making connections for sources with experience and guidance through stepwork

canstock5148130-6-25-32-pmeventually things broke up…people stopped showing…a couple guys moved away…it just ended…then a men’s meeting started up at the group…this has grown phenomenally!…a women’s meeting starts right after…and i’ve seen it blossom, as well…it just goes to show how important it is for the men to stick to the men, and women to the women, in this program…some people do look for hook-ups…there have been issues…what’s important to realize is there’s no 13th Step to the program…sobriety must come first…all else comes later, after we’ve cleaned house and started helping others…it’s how i met my wife, who is in sobriety…we were both working on our own problems, taking care of business…and then just happened to bump into each other through mutual acquaintances…fellowship is cool like that…we can meet up and have experiential, growing personal relationships with each other…these sometimes elaborate into intimate and meaningful partnerships…each looking out for each other, and never separately or selfishly divided

last year one of the men from this group at my home club was seriously injured in a horrible bicycle crash…it did severe damage to his head, which kept him in the hospital for a few months…surgeries were involved…major complications were with some vital arteries…his motor skills had diminished, keeping him paralyzed through parts of his arm and legs, keeping him in a wheelchair…this prompted a group to bring meetings once a week to him…i was able to make one of these visits with my sponsor…after showing significant improvement, his hospital stay ended, yet he was still under strict therapy…this moved the meetings to his home, once a week…it reminds me of the times i had spent with a group of guys before, and something i really look forward to…simply a no-brains, like-minded collection of individuals, banding together for quiet chat on life, sobriety, difficulties, spirituality and solutions

birlik beraberlik & zirve mutluluğuusually these have been book studies…although, if someone speaks up about a particular problem they are having, it quickly switches to a discussion meeting…a couple weeks ago we started in on a chapter from the 12 & 12…i was immediately drawn to some articles mentioned in the pages we read from…but, one dude was having issues brought up from the reading, so the topic switched over in helping him out…and, i made sure to make some quick notes after getting home and include them in this blog…some of them were important, as they are things i’ve been thinking about lately

specifically, it went into the types of people who are only sincere in approaching the steps of our program if looking to stay alive themselves…this is what is known as a bottom…since the 12 Steps direct actions exposing the ugly side of a persons behavior, thoughts and feelings, not everyone would be drawn to that type of solution…if this includes correcting mistakes made by searching deep down into the secrets of a person’s life, not everyone could be willing to explore the dark long ago…unless this was a matter of life and death…faced with that kind of dilemma, only the most desperate, hopeless and powerless sufferer would follow those kind of principles…and lately, i don’t see this as just alcoholics and drug addicts being prospects for this solution…many types of people who face calamities can benefit from this way of life

in fact, Frank Buchman, creator of the Oxford Group, was not a drug addict nor an alcoholic…this should be a clear example of what i’m talking about here…the 12 Steps were born from this organization, in that it sought to remove selfishness from one’s purpose in order to live without fear, searching God for a “moral re-armament”…Buchman dealt with resentments, eventually discovering a way to rid that type of sustained anger by forgiving and making restitution for harm done…thus, the 4 Absolutes (honesty, purity, unselfishness and love) were adopted for the Oxford Group movement…this was a pivotal way for people in desperation seeking help to progress through life successfully…for those without any answers (such as drunks and dope fiends), this became an altruistic beginning to a new way of walking paths…which is why organizations such as AA were born, as it has always been easier taking advice and suggestion by those who have lived much the same horrible past…it is how fellowships have been known to grow and flourish