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Dec 31

Personal Divinitiveness Through Heirarcheal Insight…

blurry-visionmeaning to write more often here…been a month since posting a blog…things have been busy for me…my job is crazy…trying to wrap-up this special project…and home life with the family is meaning more to me each day…so hard to fit anything else in there…i’m sure it will all pan out equally, as long as i keep priorities right…the holidays are such a beast…especially for those new in recovery, or those still fighting to hold on to getting loaded…it took me so long to find correct vision in what was happening with my life…to see what others saw about me…and at times, this can still become an issue

around the mid-90’s i had found a new drug…Ecstacy took over my life…i no longer ate, slept…although people talk about it being some sexual, social substance, it can be quite the opposite…especially when you take it like i did…i wanted seclusion…aloneness…after a few months this took quite it’s toll on me…and i finally went home for the holidays…my mother did her best getting me into treatment…but, the only place to take someone without health insurance was outpatient…even though i knew this wasn’t a solution, i went anyway to see what they had to offer…which was acupuncture…and i’m sorry for those that differ, but sticking needles in a persons ear will not aid in removing an addiction to chemicals…if anything, it made me want more

divine-mind-intentiona few months later i was locked up…for the next year i spent time away with only one force guiding me…my Higher Power supplied direction through several different sources…all with sobriety and sanity in mind…it took being forcefully removed from the situation, planted with gifts, tools, and knowledge of that new way of life to bring freedom…soon, even behind bars, i felt absolute unrestraint…family…friends…teachers…doctors…noone else could have done that…it took opening my mind and heart in a way never accomplished before, because i had always been focused on self…when that rein was eventually taken away, i was able to finally vision what the outside world already knew…my path had been eventual self-destruction

this brings me to what i always talk about this time in the season…New Years has brought a practice of resolution to most Normies out there…a promise for removing practices, problems or ideals that have caused issue in their lives…whether it be from health…monetary…social…behavioral means…usually people are making plans on how to better through these personal statements…i will never drink again…i will stop using drugs…it’s because they want life to get better again…they see what is causing damage, and they want it to end…if this were a true answer for people like us, we could have ended addiction long ago…but, nothing…nothing found on Earth has ever been able to do that…especially when it came to relying upon decisions made by myself…i’ve always needed God’s help

fingers-crossedso, lets keep that in mind as the clock winds around again…when we rip that last page off the calendar pasted on the wall…take it down and put the new one up…open that new battery package and get time started back to normal…it will only involve action, not thought in how to move forward with life…and what makes that done?…by following the Great Entity’s will for you…which is always bothersome when looking on the daily…my sponsor tells me, when i haven’t a clue what my HP wants me to do…what course to take?…it’s best to look at what others need, and how i may help them today…”the answers will come when my own house is in order”…stop promising others…don’t promise yourself anything…just make that next right step…”action speaks louder than words”…and “faith without works is dead”