Jun 18

The Steps Past Looking Forward…

today has been my first attempt in using a typewriter for blogging…it’s a gift my wife got me for Father’s Day this year…aside from writing, music is another thing i love…always visiting Goodwill’s, Half-Price Books and other resale shops, looking for CD’s…and I’ve also kept my eyes open for an old typewriter…especially the ones kept in a box to carry around with to different places, like i do with my laptop…i just don’t need or want to keep it out on a desk in the house somewhere…i’ve always been one for writing stuff, which a lot has been done free-hand with paper and pen…learning how to type increased this passion for writing even more…it keeps things in a more professional-visual manner…looks like a book…because, my handwriting is not the best…and my favorite old-school authors used a typewriter…once i learned how to type, i was especially bent on writing most…then, being navigated through word processing software, my interest grew in leaps and bounds…writing out personal experiences has given so much more to write about, other than fictional pieces and poetry…and having a typewriter to call my own has been a goal for some time now…so, i couldn’t help but use it for the first time in contributing to the current actions in composition, the Half Measures Room

this machine still has it’s quirks…i didn’t want it to be brand new…been looking for a classic, one with class and character…a tool i will cherish and take care of…and this one needs work…i’m having to figure out how it is used…it needs repair, and that is fine with me…a few keys get stuck…still don’t know exactly how to change tabs or insert the paper right…this will just take time and attention for getting acquainted…and that brings me back to this blog, in particular…what is normally talked about in here…i met someone about five years ago in a meeting…he didn’t like having to be there…it’s was needed in order to claim attendance, according to probation condition requirements…he did take an immediate shine to me…we liked the same kinds of music…he enjoyed skateboarding…so, we got out to get him back into that again…there’s a group of guys i get together with who skate without getting loaded…not all of them are addicted…but, a few of them have put down the bottle or pipe because of the trouble it had caused in their life…soon, this guy asked me to be his sponsor

after working through most of the steps with this guy, he was able to maintain sobriety, get a good job of employment, socialize and grow in development (without the use of drugs or alcohol)…however, he didn’t follow through with the rest of the program…he didn’t finish the stepwork…just went on his own way, now that things had gotten better for him…a year or two went by…i would occasionally hang out with him, when our skate crew got together…catching up, i could hear about how all was going…yet, no mention of the program or sobriety…finally, i got a call from him one day…things had sunk into peril…this buddy i met in the rooms was facing homelessness…loss of the job…arguments with his mother…and picking up the bottle again caused him the ultimate trouble…he looked for help in the only person in sobriety he knew of and felt comfortable with in getting advice from…thus, the 12-Step call ensued…a couple of my good friends in the program went a long…we got him cleaned up and went to the closest group in his location…bought him a Big Book…which many people in the meeting signed with contact numbers…after taking my friend home, i encouraged a call from him every day…letting me know how everything was going…which he did, for a little while…then, once stuff had improved, i didn’t hear back any more…until things got bad again…he would contact me, looking for help

this continued…i wouldn’t hear any words from this guy until life had gotten super-rough for him…and it was always questions about how to get sober…it happened again, recently…even though he had moved across the country, he still reaches out to me for help in this…in fact, it was just the other morning that he called…afraid of losing his current girlfriend/roommate…having to drop out of school..and just ruining everything he had worked so hard for this past year…all because of picking up the drink again…thoughts of suicide had entered his mind…which i immediately told him would only make the situation worse…there would be no solution in that…i reminded him that the only answer i had found for sobriety was in using the 12-Step program…and it must be practiced on the daily…he then reminded me of how much he hated the rooms, and the people that go there…i said that this is just something he would have to endure…that it would get much better once sobriety kicks in…i said that even today, i go to meetings i’m not happy with…so, i will just go to another one the next day…different people…different shares…eventually, it gets more comfortable…this brought up another complaint…i am the only one has has ever been okay with going over sobriety…this pushed me in stressing the importance of attending groups closest to him…where he can meet up with people, getting to know them…and they will get to know who he is…as soon as he finds someone to trust, an opportunity opens to talk about what is going on…i said that this has always been that way with me…it’s how we all stay sober…passing it on…and it must be done on the daily…it all adds up…causing more sobriety…as each day comes it accumulates to added time…this is how my story translates to others…giving hope by seen strength in others in what they have accomplished over periods of time…thus, showing how to practice the 12-Step principles in all affairs…for, it is not the loss of a girlfriend, job or home that keeps us sober…we can’t get and stay clean for others…it only works when we want to stay sober for ourselves…which shouldn’t be so hard, should it?…seeing as it is selfishness that kept us drunk and high for so long.

i spoke about this in the Mens meeting i’ve attended lately…really neat format…the speaker shares for the first ten minutes on what is happening to them currently…then this meeting opens up for all the members to share on that topic…being mostly cross-talk, everyone introduces themselves before the floor is opened…this keeps it more like a group therapy/discussion meeting…nothing derogatory or negative can be said towards the speaker…only what is helpful and positive to the other person’s sobriety…it was my chance to open the meeting as speaker this week…and i talked about my the friend calling me…immediately, some guys said that although it was good what i said to him, and that i was in a good place with sobriety, that it might not have been so helpful (since he was drunk)…that it is most beneficial when the person ┬áis nursing a hangover…which i understand and agree with, and questioned myself, since the guy was loaded when we spoke together…would he even remember what i had said to him?…it was also mentioned to me in this meeting that my time and efforts could be better spent with a person who is ready to do the work…also something i couldn’t argue about…then, i thought about my friend calling me so early in the morning…plus, i am the only one he has ever confided in concerning sobriety…so, i’m not so sure my effort and time was wasted…in that manner, knowing this guy was drunk when talking to me, i repeated the same ideals and practices…reminding him that speaking over the phone would do very little in securing clean time for him…he must take actions in order to maintaining and continuing sobriety for the future…that i do the same…for, it is when losing sight of what has worked so far that i leave the door open to added mistakes…and when these get multiplied, i’ve ended up contributing more to relapse than keeping sober